Thursday, August 5, 2010
My son attends a school for kids with special needs. It's a great school that "gets" my son, and understands that it really is his disorder causing the behavior. It's not bad parenting, or a naughty kid, it's a neurological disorder. Every day he heads off to school and every day I hold my breath for the next six hours waiting for "the call". The phone rings and the caller ID announces that it's my son's school. What will it be this time? Is he in recovery from a meltdown, did he try to run out of the school, did he tip a desk over in frustration? Those are the ones I have the courage to mention. My heart breaks a little with each phone call.
My son is an incredible young man, with a gentleness and love about him that draws people in. He geniunely loves everyone and can't really understand when people are unkind. Yet he can throw the most amazing tantrums, and say the most unkind things, all because the world is a hard place for him. It's painful for him. The world is too loud, too bright, to busy for him. He can't figure out where his body is in relation to objects around him. His sense of balance is different than ours. He has to touch things constantly to get enough sensory feedback to function.
I understand this, yet it is still hard, and frustrating, and painful, and heartbreaking. And then there are "The Looks". The "don't you know how to parent" looks, or the "Can't you control your child" looks. Or the comments like "He's a prime example of why I'm in favor of abortion" Yes, someone actually said that... out loud!
If I had a chance to do it all over, would I? ABSOLUTELY! What a privilege it is to be his Mom. He is so loving, and so kind, and gives the most amazing hugs. He has a wisdom far beyond his years. He truly loves all, and has an innate sense of who you are, and loves you because of it or in spite of it. He finds such wonder in the world. His conversations with you are insightful, hilarious, and priceless. Every day with him is an adventure!
Is it hard? Yes. Is it worth it? Oh, Yes!!